Thorn Pierced Rose: January 2011

Monday, January 31, 2011

So I am back at Duke due to a lung bleed again. Saturday night around midnight-ish I woke up and started coughing up blood! About a pint in 15 minutes, which is quite a bit. So Ben and I headed to the ER. They kept me to watch, but then this morning I started coughing up more blood, only a quarter of a cup this time, but still not good. I was sent down to IR to be emolized again in hope to stop or slow these bleeding episodes. Hopefully it will do the trick and I can remain blood free for a bit. I am currently getting blood, on my second bag. Hoping to get to go home Tuesday or Wednesday. I really wanna be home for SB Sunday. But we shall see God has a plan and I know its good...so I will wait on Him.

Please continue to pray for me and my new organs and esp for the donors family. My mom is doing a super job :). But you can also keep her in your prayers as well as the rest of my family. Love to all!! xoxo

Saturday, January 29, 2011

So here it is, my first ever crochet project a scarf. It's not too bad, a little uneven in places, but I figure with practice I can weed that out. I'll post pics of my next project when I finish!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Passing the Time

So I decided to pick up a new habit. I am attempting to teach myself to crochet. I was inspired by my sisters best friend who can make the coolest stuff (from her head) and also the fact that I have alot of time on my hands. Crocheting seems to be a relatively low cost habit. My friend Pam taught me some before she left for Mississippi. I bought a kit at B&N thinking I could make the animals in it, but I quickly realized I was in over my head. So right now I am working on a scarf. Its not half bad looking. I already have a foot of scarf!! :)

My goal is to be good enough by Easter to make my nieces some animals for their Easter baskets.

Ma and I are doing well. Still rehabing everyday at CFL. She is doing a super job as caregiver! Still praying for that phone call, hope it won't be too much longer. Thanks for the prayers and cards!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

Thursday, January 13, 2011

More Beautiful You- Jonny Diaz

This has beautiful lyrics...they are so true!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Freedom!

Outta Duke again, had a short stay. Went to ER Saturday night around 10pm and was admitted for couging up a cup of blood. I was Out Monday evening. Thought I was gonna be bronched or embolized, but thankfully neither!! Just a CT to see how much blood was in my lungs and since it wasn't too much the Doc said she felt comfy to send me home on roids and oxy and the blood should be reabsorbed by the body. So here I am! :) Back at rehab...yay! God is good!

Ma is doing good, hangin in there, learning the routine for the blood episodes and learning the hospital layout :) She's a great caregiver just like Daddy was/is. Miss and love my hard working Hubby back home too!

Lord, Create in Me A Pure Heart...

After much searching and praying I think I figured out why God has given me this time of waiting. I think I've been placing too much emphasis on how the transplant may change my outward appearance. For example, my hopes of getting rid of this barrel shaped chest, my hope of getting rid of the 02, my hope of gaining weight and muscle tone, scars and getting rid of feeding tubes and I'm sure there are many other things but they are not coming to mind right now. It is hard (for me) to be in this condition when I see everyday on TV, out in public and magazines what the true female figure is to look like and its hard knowing I'm different. but at the same time I feel it is very selfish of me to think this way. I should be thankful for how God created me, for I was created in His image and made to glorify Him, I don't see how I can do it this way, but He does. All this to get at the point that I think God is teaching me that it's not about how this will change my outward appearance but how someone I don't even know will give me a second chance to live and that alone should make me grateful and it does. And yes, the selfish side comes out again when after transplant yes I'll have the puffy chipmonk cheeks, the tremors and thin hair from all the meds, but it is like my good friend Pam told me: "who cares what you look like, you can breathe!" Which is very true. So in all this waiting, I'm praying that God will create in me a pure heart, rid me of this selfishness that haunts me and just be thankful for the gift I will recieve so that I can go and help others.

I'd appreciate it if you'd keep me and this matter in your prayers! I will overcome!